Anyways, "K" : thank you for coming into our life and making our lives so wonderfully beautiful.
Happy Birthday my little one!We love you as ever, forever!
Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing - Zig Ziglar
Showing posts with label Experiences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Experiences. Show all posts
Friday, October 12, 2012
Happy 5!
Five years back, in a Friday @dot 6:27 AM, my little son came into this big wide beautiful world.
Today, again a Friday, I got up @6:25 AM, saw my son peacefully sleeping alongwith his dad and felt blissful to the core. At 6:27 AM, I wished him and thanked God for all these wonderful moments.I really don't know what kind of mom am I, not a perfect one for sure, but I hope that "A" and I bring up this child wonderfully, just like the way our parents brought us up.We turned out to be fine, though I really don't know if I would have the same kind of patience which my parents, had during my teenage days...that reminds me that I should start meditating so that the clutter in my mind settles down by then.
Anyways, "K" : thank you for coming into our life and making our lives so wonderfully beautiful.
Happy Birthday my little one!We love you as ever, forever!
Anyways, "K" : thank you for coming into our life and making our lives so wonderfully beautiful.
Happy Birthday my little one!We love you as ever, forever!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Keep it Simple! Who believes in it?
How many of us believe in simplicity?
We shifted couple of months to a nice place, it does not have a brand but yes its wonderful. Its apt for us
Earlier we used to stay in a plush apartments, I never felt home there, I could never accept the place as mine
But this place...I just belong here
Yes there are differences in both places, as the earlier place was crowded with upper middle class, the middle aged segment with one child,who had lived in US and UK for years and were back to India for good!
This place again has upper middle class families, however there is a difference, they are people from the defence sector, who always belonged to India and have come up through hard work. I always wanted my son to be brought up in such an environment.
While growing up, me and hubby have seen our parents struggle and hence understood the value of education and money earlier in life. Do we regret those times?Not at all, as today because of those values, we are able to differentiate between right and wrong, we are able to mingle with people from all classes in an equal manner!
In my earlier apartments, as I interacted with more parents, there was something common about them
All of them said that they never wanted their child to struggle and hence succumbed to their demands. Kids were demanding play-stations at the age of 4, their b'days had themes and parents paid a bomb to fulfil all their wishes. Cant blame them, they had been living in wonderful US and UK and now they had moved so that their children do not imbibe the videshi culture and hence were always feeling guilty about it!
I guess, "To each their own" :)
Me and hubby are weird. We don't believe in fulfilling all wishes of my son. We want little "k" to understand what hard work means not when he grows up, but as he grows. Well we are not bad, whenever he has asked for a toy we have got him one, but when he had asked for an expensive car, we would say that getting him to school took our money, so he will have to wait for atleast a year. He has always agreed to it, which makes me emotional at times. Are we doing something wrong?Are we setting examples of bad parents...no clue
I guess its rightly said, Parenting is a life long commitment!!! :)
We could have lived in our earlier place, but I kept thinking that little "K" would be influenced as he grows and how long could we make excuses
Isn't it easier to live with like-minded people than making excuses to little ones as they grow!!!
But many of our friends and family members have questioned this decision of ours and that makes me think...well.kya kare in today's world there are very few who believe in keeping it simple :)
We shifted couple of months to a nice place, it does not have a brand but yes its wonderful. Its apt for us
Earlier we used to stay in a plush apartments, I never felt home there, I could never accept the place as mine
But this place...I just belong here
Yes there are differences in both places, as the earlier place was crowded with upper middle class, the middle aged segment with one child,who had lived in US and UK for years and were back to India for good!
This place again has upper middle class families, however there is a difference, they are people from the defence sector, who always belonged to India and have come up through hard work. I always wanted my son to be brought up in such an environment.
While growing up, me and hubby have seen our parents struggle and hence understood the value of education and money earlier in life. Do we regret those times?Not at all, as today because of those values, we are able to differentiate between right and wrong, we are able to mingle with people from all classes in an equal manner!
In my earlier apartments, as I interacted with more parents, there was something common about them
All of them said that they never wanted their child to struggle and hence succumbed to their demands. Kids were demanding play-stations at the age of 4, their b'days had themes and parents paid a bomb to fulfil all their wishes. Cant blame them, they had been living in wonderful US and UK and now they had moved so that their children do not imbibe the videshi culture and hence were always feeling guilty about it!
I guess, "To each their own" :)
Me and hubby are weird. We don't believe in fulfilling all wishes of my son. We want little "k" to understand what hard work means not when he grows up, but as he grows. Well we are not bad, whenever he has asked for a toy we have got him one, but when he had asked for an expensive car, we would say that getting him to school took our money, so he will have to wait for atleast a year. He has always agreed to it, which makes me emotional at times. Are we doing something wrong?Are we setting examples of bad parents...no clue
I guess its rightly said, Parenting is a life long commitment!!! :)
We could have lived in our earlier place, but I kept thinking that little "K" would be influenced as he grows and how long could we make excuses
Isn't it easier to live with like-minded people than making excuses to little ones as they grow!!!
But many of our friends and family members have questioned this decision of ours and that makes me think...well.kya kare in today's world there are very few who believe in keeping it simple :)
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
One state many differences : Gods own country
Please note that these are my perceptions and any resemblance to fictitious person is purely coincidental :)
Kerala-God's own country is an Indian state located on the Malabar coast of south-west India...to me its a country on its own. Each part of Kerala behaves and thinks absolutely differently!
Kerala has three major regions : North Kerala, Central Kerala and South Kerala
North Kerala is the malabar area, Central Kerala comprises of Thrissur and South Kerala is from Allapuzha onwards
North and South Kerala are like India and Pakistan...they cant see eye to eye...Central Kerala love themselves so much that they do not like to support either part...most of the characters of Central Kerala would be inclined to North or South Kerala...however North and South Kerala's characters are distinct
There are things which are common through out but the objective of each is different, such as importance of education, traveling out of Kerala for work purpose and celebration of festivals which exists from North to South Kerala. Thnakfully objective of celeberating festivals are similar throughout, thanks to one God :)
Below are some facts and yes there may be exceptions to each but I am representing the major chunk of middle class Nair families
North Kerala men are considered to be spineless : Well I will never call them spineless, but let me tell you why this perception is made:-
In North Kerala, custom of Dowry is not practiced. Hence women are respected here..when she gets married, she is not supposed to bring anything from her place and has equal rights in a relation,hence even the man of a family treats her very well and hence she has the right to voice her opinion during any family discussions
In North Kerala, the objective of education is to gain knowledge and hence become self sufficient and run a family smoothly
Objective of traveling is for better career prospects
South Kerala : Money,money and money is what defines them...its the only priority of this region, objective of education over here is to make money!Objective of travelling out is to make money!
Dowry is practiced in a huge manner and you will see grooms working in TCS/IBM, flaunting the brand to make more moolah out of a marriage....the boy would be having high degrees to his credit, but that education does not make him wise at all, infact he uses those degrees to get a richer bride.
Its a normal custom here to boast the kind of car which a bride brings in. So you see a girl is always considered a burden in all class of this society, as after marriage one needs to send her, all draped in gold alongwith materialistic stuffs...She is the money spinner for the groom and hence is expected to keep quiet in front of others
By the way, gold is yesterdays terminology, today in South Kerala, diamond is what rules!
Some serious facts :
In a typical family discussion :
In North Kerala, though women are able to voice their opinion during family discussions, men usually make their own decisions after consulting the women. In South Kerala, even though you will not see women giving any opinion during discussions, at the end of the say its the women's decision which a man makes :)...some use of the dowry brought!
If you borrow money from a North Keralite and South Keralite, say Rs 11.50, when you give them back, NK will not bother about 50 paise but SK will make sure to get it back, if you have forgotten,he/she will remind you about that :)
When you go to a temple, NK will give money without looking at the value...but SK will surely see how much he/she is spending on God :)
Again I am sure this may vary by their class (low/middle/high), but in NK, the custom is give to God with all your heart
In SK the value is considered and if someone donates a lump sum, then he/she is considered to be great, even if he is a criminal
I have seen lot of NK's make huge donations, but they do not like to hog the limelight because of that donation
In NK, once you have a job, in the family as well, except for the elders, no one will ask you your exact salary : that is considered to be a personal thing but in SK, even an acquaintance will ask you your exact salary to the last digit
In NK, if a lady is travelling by train/bus;you will see men getting up to give her the seat, in SK, if a lady is travelling by train/bus;you will rarely see men getting up to give her the seat.
The attitude in SK is, I have paid money for this seat, why should I ever give it to someone else
Its funny, when a typical SK family has a girl child, they will try their best to marry off her to North Kerala, so that they don't have to give dowry and when the family has a boy child, they make sure that he is married off to a SK family, so that they receive good dowry :)
Language: Again there is so much of difference in one language of Malayalam...North Kerala malayalam is very polite, its like Lucknawi Hindi, Malayalam of South Kerala is completely opposite..its like Mumbai hindi, full of slangs!Again districtwise language differs.
Guess I am placing SK in poor light, but there are good sides to them also : for e.g.: they save loads of money, they follow rituals better than NK in terms of religion.The food culture is better in South Kerala, as there are loads of varieties in their cuisine.
Again when you look at North Kerala, there are different districts like Palakkad, Calicut, Kannur etc
By the way, for a Calicut person, Palakkad is a strict No-No...they consider Palakkad people to be very stingy and attitude wise similar to SK, and Palakkad people are brainy and hence consider themselves superior!
In South Kerala, you have districts like Kottayam, Ernakulum, Trivandrum etc...each one considers them to be superior.Central Kerala considers themselves most superior as they have the best temples and jewellers...hehehe
Imagine one state has so many differences, what would be the case of others....hats off to India to remain United!!!
Kerala-God's own country is an Indian state located on the Malabar coast of south-west India...to me its a country on its own. Each part of Kerala behaves and thinks absolutely differently!
Kerala has three major regions : North Kerala, Central Kerala and South Kerala
North Kerala is the malabar area, Central Kerala comprises of Thrissur and South Kerala is from Allapuzha onwards
North and South Kerala are like India and Pakistan...they cant see eye to eye...Central Kerala love themselves so much that they do not like to support either part...most of the characters of Central Kerala would be inclined to North or South Kerala...however North and South Kerala's characters are distinct
There are things which are common through out but the objective of each is different, such as importance of education, traveling out of Kerala for work purpose and celebration of festivals which exists from North to South Kerala. Thnakfully objective of celeberating festivals are similar throughout, thanks to one God :)
Below are some facts and yes there may be exceptions to each but I am representing the major chunk of middle class Nair families
North Kerala men are considered to be spineless : Well I will never call them spineless, but let me tell you why this perception is made:-
In North Kerala, custom of Dowry is not practiced. Hence women are respected here..when she gets married, she is not supposed to bring anything from her place and has equal rights in a relation,hence even the man of a family treats her very well and hence she has the right to voice her opinion during any family discussions
In North Kerala, the objective of education is to gain knowledge and hence become self sufficient and run a family smoothly
Objective of traveling is for better career prospects
South Kerala : Money,money and money is what defines them...its the only priority of this region, objective of education over here is to make money!Objective of travelling out is to make money!
Dowry is practiced in a huge manner and you will see grooms working in TCS/IBM, flaunting the brand to make more moolah out of a marriage....the boy would be having high degrees to his credit, but that education does not make him wise at all, infact he uses those degrees to get a richer bride.
Its a normal custom here to boast the kind of car which a bride brings in. So you see a girl is always considered a burden in all class of this society, as after marriage one needs to send her, all draped in gold alongwith materialistic stuffs...She is the money spinner for the groom and hence is expected to keep quiet in front of others
By the way, gold is yesterdays terminology, today in South Kerala, diamond is what rules!
Some serious facts :
In a typical family discussion :
In North Kerala, though women are able to voice their opinion during family discussions, men usually make their own decisions after consulting the women. In South Kerala, even though you will not see women giving any opinion during discussions, at the end of the say its the women's decision which a man makes :)...some use of the dowry brought!
If you borrow money from a North Keralite and South Keralite, say Rs 11.50, when you give them back, NK will not bother about 50 paise but SK will make sure to get it back, if you have forgotten,he/she will remind you about that :)
When you go to a temple, NK will give money without looking at the value...but SK will surely see how much he/she is spending on God :)
Again I am sure this may vary by their class (low/middle/high), but in NK, the custom is give to God with all your heart
In SK the value is considered and if someone donates a lump sum, then he/she is considered to be great, even if he is a criminal
I have seen lot of NK's make huge donations, but they do not like to hog the limelight because of that donation
In NK, once you have a job, in the family as well, except for the elders, no one will ask you your exact salary : that is considered to be a personal thing but in SK, even an acquaintance will ask you your exact salary to the last digit
In NK, if a lady is travelling by train/bus;you will see men getting up to give her the seat, in SK, if a lady is travelling by train/bus;you will rarely see men getting up to give her the seat.
The attitude in SK is, I have paid money for this seat, why should I ever give it to someone else
Its funny, when a typical SK family has a girl child, they will try their best to marry off her to North Kerala, so that they don't have to give dowry and when the family has a boy child, they make sure that he is married off to a SK family, so that they receive good dowry :)
Language: Again there is so much of difference in one language of Malayalam...North Kerala malayalam is very polite, its like Lucknawi Hindi, Malayalam of South Kerala is completely opposite..its like Mumbai hindi, full of slangs!Again districtwise language differs.
Guess I am placing SK in poor light, but there are good sides to them also : for e.g.: they save loads of money, they follow rituals better than NK in terms of religion.The food culture is better in South Kerala, as there are loads of varieties in their cuisine.
Again when you look at North Kerala, there are different districts like Palakkad, Calicut, Kannur etc
By the way, for a Calicut person, Palakkad is a strict No-No...they consider Palakkad people to be very stingy and attitude wise similar to SK, and Palakkad people are brainy and hence consider themselves superior!
In South Kerala, you have districts like Kottayam, Ernakulum, Trivandrum etc...each one considers them to be superior.Central Kerala considers themselves most superior as they have the best temples and jewellers...hehehe
Imagine one state has so many differences, what would be the case of others....hats off to India to remain United!!!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Life returns in full swing
So after a weekend of being jobless, went yesterday to my new workplace...it was such a wonderful feeling
I mean they are just a handful of employees..just 5 of them...hahaha, I will be the sixth one, but they were at peace
I admire them so much, they would never know that..."S" company has always been my dream firm, even a GE could not change my view towards them
Its so funny, I had everything to me, had an awesome workstation, could travel by flight anyday, handsome paycheck,great office, also had a great cafeteria and food court...the scene is so different here, there are just handful of workstations, no cafeteria and one has make his/her own tea/coffee but the peace here is AWESOME, somehow life always teaches me that materialistic stuff never gives happiness in the long run!!!
Most importantly, the group is so genuine, that why I love them so much...its always nice to work with honest and good people..It was nice to meet old friends and it seemed that they were also happy doing what they like the most
So this is to my future with "S" :)
I mean they are just a handful of employees..just 5 of them...hahaha, I will be the sixth one, but they were at peace
I admire them so much, they would never know that..."S" company has always been my dream firm, even a GE could not change my view towards them
Its so funny, I had everything to me, had an awesome workstation, could travel by flight anyday, handsome paycheck,great office, also had a great cafeteria and food court...the scene is so different here, there are just handful of workstations, no cafeteria and one has make his/her own tea/coffee but the peace here is AWESOME, somehow life always teaches me that materialistic stuff never gives happiness in the long run!!!
Most importantly, the group is so genuine, that why I love them so much...its always nice to work with honest and good people..It was nice to meet old friends and it seemed that they were also happy doing what they like the most
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Chauvinism : To be or not?
I have been toying of writing this entry for quite sometime...its on the species from Mars
But until, it doesn't go out of my system, I will not be in peace, so finally decided to pen down my thoughts
This is not for all men in this world but most of them I have seen come across in this genre
These thoughts are based on true events...any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely intentional :)
I have never understood real meaning on male chauvinism :
Wikipedia defines it as a term used to describe the belief that men are superior to women. It is often used interchangeably with "sexism" and is closely associated with misogyny and perceptions of women as inferior to men, especially intellectually
Well what I don't understand is Indian or South Indian male chauvinism behaves in a different way
If one is a chauvinist, then one should be a chauvinist always and should never change their chauvinism according to their convenience
My best friend was telling me the other day, that she was in a rush in morning hours to go to office, as usual she told her hubby, if he could iron her clothes, he had never said No before this day, but that day he said a stern No, she was surprised by his reaction and guess what was the reason, because his friend was at home and he did not want to show that he irons his wives clothes!
Gosh I really wanted to know what was he trying to prove
I have come across many men of this sort,its they will shamelessly accept dowry, car,salary etc from their wives, but still they try to show that they are superior...lets be honest, do they really feel superior?I doubt!
Its ridiculous, how can you be superior after accepting all materialistic gains from your wife?
I think men should come out of this ego...that is when the world will be a better place to live
Things like keeping the plate in the dinner table,they cannot think of cleaning it...its a small thing, but this doesn't express love for a woman, all these tactical stuff keeps proving that women are indeed treated badly in India!
Its funny that even if a women is well educated, inside the four walls of a house, she succumbs to such treatment...sometimes I wonder, will such a house ever be a home?
At time I feel all this is due to the species from Venus only
When one has a son, if he is treated similar to a daughter, then he would never have an ego, but I have always seen that boys at a young age itself is treated like gods by their mothers, and that's how they develop their superior ego..sad very sad...What a waste of Education to such women!!!
I know things are changing and I have seen men who treat women very well, they do not believe in keeping the plates in the dining table or do not accept dowry...but they still make a smaller pie...Hats off to them...YOU GUYS ROCK!Let your tribe grow!
But the other segment : Well all I can say is SHAME ON YOU!!!GROW UP :)
It sad when the latter segment (chauvinist) meets someone of former segment (non or less chauvinist), do you know how do they perceive?...they call them spineless...sad they are never ready to embrace goodness in life!
P.S : Please "men" who belong to the latter segment, don't take it personally, its just that someone should tell you guys, what a lady feels...and women who succumb to this segment, same goes to you...Shame on you!
But until, it doesn't go out of my system, I will not be in peace, so finally decided to pen down my thoughts
This is not for all men in this world but most of them I have seen come across in this genre
These thoughts are based on true events...any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely intentional :)
I have never understood real meaning on male chauvinism :
Wikipedia defines it as a term used to describe the belief that men are superior to women. It is often used interchangeably with "sexism" and is closely associated with misogyny and perceptions of women as inferior to men, especially intellectually
Well what I don't understand is Indian or South Indian male chauvinism behaves in a different way
If one is a chauvinist, then one should be a chauvinist always and should never change their chauvinism according to their convenience
My best friend was telling me the other day, that she was in a rush in morning hours to go to office, as usual she told her hubby, if he could iron her clothes, he had never said No before this day, but that day he said a stern No, she was surprised by his reaction and guess what was the reason, because his friend was at home and he did not want to show that he irons his wives clothes!
Gosh I really wanted to know what was he trying to prove
I have come across many men of this sort,its they will shamelessly accept dowry, car,salary etc from their wives, but still they try to show that they are superior...lets be honest, do they really feel superior?I doubt!
Its ridiculous, how can you be superior after accepting all materialistic gains from your wife?
I think men should come out of this ego...that is when the world will be a better place to live
Things like keeping the plate in the dinner table,they cannot think of cleaning it...its a small thing, but this doesn't express love for a woman, all these tactical stuff keeps proving that women are indeed treated badly in India!
Its funny that even if a women is well educated, inside the four walls of a house, she succumbs to such treatment...sometimes I wonder, will such a house ever be a home?
At time I feel all this is due to the species from Venus only
When one has a son, if he is treated similar to a daughter, then he would never have an ego, but I have always seen that boys at a young age itself is treated like gods by their mothers, and that's how they develop their superior ego..sad very sad...What a waste of Education to such women!!!
I know things are changing and I have seen men who treat women very well, they do not believe in keeping the plates in the dining table or do not accept dowry...but they still make a smaller pie...Hats off to them...YOU GUYS ROCK!Let your tribe grow!
But the other segment : Well all I can say is SHAME ON YOU!!!GROW UP :)
It sad when the latter segment (chauvinist) meets someone of former segment (non or less chauvinist), do you know how do they perceive?...they call them spineless...sad they are never ready to embrace goodness in life!
P.S : Please "men" who belong to the latter segment, don't take it personally, its just that someone should tell you guys, what a lady feels...and women who succumb to this segment, same goes to you...Shame on you!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Girls : Equally responsible for Dowry system
I hate 'Dowry system' but above all I hate girls who support this system
I have seen so many girls who are well educated, have a good job, but during their marriage, when their parents offer gold,car etc etc to the grooms parents, they never open their mouth...don't give me the usual dialogue ' we don't have a say in this'
Puhleease you are educated, have a job of your own...don't tell me you cannot voice your opinion? infact I personally feel such girls don't want to voice on this matter...many a times i see girls after marriage comparing with each other on what their parents have given
I am so proud of those very very few girls who voice their opinion...wish we had more of them, atleast then the dreaded system of Dowry could reduce in India
What is the key factor here??? nope its not education coz if that was the case then Dowry would not be prevalent in educated masses..but dowry is prevalent to a very large extent in well to do educated families as well
What do you think where are we lacking?
To start with, I feel when a girl has a boy child...she should make him aware of not taking dowry.....and when he gets married, she should genuinely not take anything from her daughter-in-law....i feel that when more people takes up this approach then after few years we can see India free of dowry
I know its easily said......however I really feel that girls who are educated should make use of their education and not support this foolish system!!!
I feel if only every girl genuinely feel how wrong this system is, will this system be eradicated in future...Whats your say???
I have seen so many girls who are well educated, have a good job, but during their marriage, when their parents offer gold,car etc etc to the grooms parents, they never open their mouth...don't give me the usual dialogue ' we don't have a say in this'
Puhleease you are educated, have a job of your own...don't tell me you cannot voice your opinion? infact I personally feel such girls don't want to voice on this matter...many a times i see girls after marriage comparing with each other on what their parents have given
I am so proud of those very very few girls who voice their opinion...wish we had more of them, atleast then the dreaded system of Dowry could reduce in India
What is the key factor here??? nope its not education coz if that was the case then Dowry would not be prevalent in educated masses..but dowry is prevalent to a very large extent in well to do educated families as well
What do you think where are we lacking?
To start with, I feel when a girl has a boy child...she should make him aware of not taking dowry.....and when he gets married, she should genuinely not take anything from her daughter-in-law....i feel that when more people takes up this approach then after few years we can see India free of dowry
I know its easily said......however I really feel that girls who are educated should make use of their education and not support this foolish system!!!
I feel if only every girl genuinely feel how wrong this system is, will this system be eradicated in future...Whats your say???
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