I am in Kerala now, and yes let me jot what I like and hate about Kerala land...Let me first jot down what I hate, so that I am out of those yucky feelings!Will give you examples for each
1. Invasion of Privacy,Invasion of Privacy,Invasion of Privacy!
Hate it to the core, why are everyone bothered about everyone else's life???
In my in-laws place, one of their family person is worried about my second cousin who is not married yet! Hulo??? Go get a life!
Marriages and Funerals are wonderful to them, as they can meet long lost friends and find out if that cousin of theirs got married!
2. Fair vs Dark
Oh yes being fair, both for men and women. Someone being fair is equivalent to beautiful. I have seen so many dark people here who are so beautiful, but nah for junta is fairness which counts!!!
3. Serialaaya Namah
People adjust their work from their 7 to 10 slot. During these times, unlike other part of India, where we go out or meet friends, in Kerala, majority of people are shut behind doors to watch SERIALS...Serials which represents men domination and women stupid!In fact there was a discussion at my friends place yesterday
Friends grandma : Do you think she will commit suicide?
Friends Grandpa : Hope not, afterall she has always made decisions with her mind
I am clueless and my friends sheepishly says, "Well, they are talking about a serial"
By the way even kids have no choice in such cases, they also watch those serials with terrible and dirty language. There are no parks in Kerala and hence they don't have this concept of going for walks in the evening, the excuse they give is arre, the roads arent good and there are so many thieves...its unsafe. Poor kids they are always glued to Television,laptops and play stations and the perception is Kids in metros are addicted to Television!!!
4. Thieves,thieves and Thieves
This concept is exclusive to Kerala.....people stay in huge houses, whether they can afford or not and then never go for vacation as there are kalamaars uff thieves everywhere!!!
Dont sleep near the window, your necklace will be snatched!
Dont go for early walks you necklace will be snatched!
Dont keep the terrace door open, things will be snatched!
Even if they go for a trip they will make sure to come back in a day or two, so going out during weekends is a strict no-no
5. Lack of kids : well innocent kids
I fail to speak to kids who are innocent in Kerala. Cant blame them, since they are exposed to violent movies and serials, they speak the same language! They say a Poda and shit frequently and when they say such sick stuff, instead of getting a slap, everyone in the family smiles, as though he has achieved something!
And yes these kids are very very indisciplined!miss innocence in kids!
Kids : Taking care is a burden
You will see kids on their own, they grow up on their own. During holidays, they will be in front of tv or laptops. They will be placed in some school for some hours as at home, elders don't have the strength, mum,if she is a housewife, she has to cook and if its a working women, then its just not possible, so who is going to take care of them. By the way if the house has a fulltime maid then the reason given is lady cant cook and look after kids na!
6. Only secrets can make/break a relation!
My cousin knows a secret about her friend...so whats the big deal, she wants to share with me. I told her that I dont care and dont want to know but she still spilled the beans, it was a silly thing which cannot even be called a secret. Now she doesn't want me to share with anyone...hahaha, why doesnt she understand that I really dont care about that friend, she is not anything in my life!When I told her that she said but my friend stayed in your place for a day...so what whats the big deal, they are many acquaintances who have stayed in our place, that doesnt mean each of them is my bumchum!!!And then she says what if you meet her somewhere in life...why doesnt she understand she is just an acquaintance to me!!!"Grrr"
7. Sex deprived?
Most of the ladies, I meet, seems to be sex deprived, or why would would they tell me about their sex life and their fascination towards manly and hairy men..ugh...please remember, I would not even had broached the subject. "Poor me..Sigh".
8. Men dominating : Ladies please stay @home!
Yes men in this part are theee MAN of the house. Heights is when there is a family, husband has gone to Australia for an onsite project, Wife is working and they have a son, say who is 9 years old. Typical remark of elders are Thank God they have a son to look after her. Its hilarious, is he the one buying veggies or submitting bills, he has no clue about all that, then on what account are such remarks made!Yes because of his gender.
In a typical family life, man can leave the house and come back anytime, but a lady cannot walk after 7...well it is scary, in Bangalore, I would go for shopping at 7 but in Kerala even when I go for a walk with my hubby, it give me jitters, as you see people drunk and staring at you and all you can think is, "tere ghar me maa behen nahi hai kya?"
9. "Status" is the word!
Even if the child has no clue of M.B.B.S, he or she has to get this degree, not because of a noble career but for the status of parents. There are only two kinds of career recognized in Kerala : Engineer and Doctor. Only a handful thinks of a career beyond them. By the way, the maximum nurses are because they could not make it through M.B.B.S degrees. Those who have opted for other professions would have faced criticism from people atleast once.
A huge house, a grand wedding, even a microwave oven is bought for the status of the family.Poor microwave, it will be lying in one corner of the kitchen, and if its used, its used only for warming stuff...hahaha
By the way, even doing something for the poor is marketed here, I have never understood as to why an elephant in gold is donated to a temple, and when its given the family makes sure that eveyone around knows it...well what will the gods do with it!No clue
Even if they are giving something to the poor, they make sure that everyone is told so..you see thats their STATUS!!!
9. "Status" is the word!
Even if the child has no clue of M.B.B.S, he or she has to get this degree, not because of a noble career but for the status of parents. There are only two kinds of career recognized in Kerala : Engineer and Doctor. Only a handful thinks of a career beyond them. By the way, the maximum nurses are because they could not make it through M.B.B.S degrees. Those who have opted for other professions would have faced criticism from people atleast once.
A huge house, a grand wedding, even a microwave oven is bought for the status of the family.Poor microwave, it will be lying in one corner of the kitchen, and if its used, its used only for warming stuff...hahaha
By the way, even doing something for the poor is marketed here, I have never understood as to why an elephant in gold is donated to a temple, and when its given the family makes sure that eveyone around knows it...well what will the gods do with it!No clue
Even if they are giving something to the poor, they make sure that everyone is told so..you see thats their STATUS!!!
10. Finally the worst : CRIB,CRIB AND CRIB
Typical scene in Kerala : son is a doctor, daughter is an engineer, daughter is getting married to a doctor,they live in a big independent house...but the family is cribbing, as they don't have enough money. Excuses they provide are they bought the MBBS seat for 40 lakhs, engineering seat for 30 lakhs and now have to give dowry to the doctor son-in-law!
Oh by the way, in Kerala there is nothing beyond doctor and engineer, you will get a match if you are one of them, no matter how you look and whether you are employed
Any house you visit is cribbing either about the past or about future!!! I am talking from a day to day life!
Yes in special occasions, like a marriage in the house, there is enjoyment, nahi tho they are just blaming their life!!!I pity them!
This factor is the most irritating part of a typical Kerala family, very few of them have feelings of gratitude in life!!!
10. Other irritating facts:
- When they meet a NRK kid, first thing they will ask is Malayalam ariyo? If he/she knows, then the parents are safe, if not thenm tho gaya, you will get all sorts of lectures to learn mother tongue and the funny part is these lectures will be given by people who would have forced one to get out of Kerala!!!
- Its a perception in Kerala that NRK's are enjoying their life, well they have their weekends off but they don't see the hard work which goes behind a NRK life. Well what I see is attitudewise, NRKs are better off
- They distinguish NRK of India and NRKs outside India :) hahaha...for them being a NRK outside India are more distinguished
- If you are living in places like Tamil Nadu, Karnataka,they may not tell you on your face, but they feel that Kerala is a class higher then these places, though they may have put their children for MBBS/Engineering in these places, afterall you can buy seats in these places na...oh by the way Chennai and Bangalore is an exception to this perception
- And they crib crib and crib!!!
P.S-When we come to visit Kerala, first two days, my hubby would say its too hot, then third day he would say, lets shift to Kerala, say Cochin, it isnt that bad, and after 5 days he says, lets go back to Bengaluru and I say a silent prayer of Thanks to someone up there :)
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